Cranberry Yogurt Muffins

We need to have a talk. 

See these things?

 They're good stuff. Like really good stuff!

 

They are muffins, if you haven't yet figured that out. Now, I made mine in a miniature pumpkin bundt pan, so ignore the funny shape. And mine are also made with whole wheat flour, hence the darker color. 

So odd shape, and whole wheat flour. Other than that, normal, plain ol' muffins!

Oh, and they also have a ton of plain yogurt in them. 

So odd shape, whole wheat flour, and plain yogurt. Can ya dig? Don't run off scared, I truly believe all of those changes make the muffins better. See, the yogurt adds a little moisture, the whole wheat flour adds a prettier color (in my humble opinion), and the rice milk, well it....oh..did I forget to mention the rice milk?

 WAIT..come back!! Yeah sure, I used rice milk, but I promise regular milk will work perfectly as well. I just tried the rice milk to assure you that it works perfectly in this recipe. 

So use milk. 

Use goat's milk for all I care. Just use milk. Okie, thanks.

So anyway, have you had plain yogurt before? Don't be skured of it either. It tastes a lot like sour cream. It's sour, but it won't be sour in this recipe. Plus, it's loaded with protein, vitamins, and things that are great for your bowels. 

Did I really just say "bowels" on a blog post about muffins? Sorry..but speaking of bowels, the whole wheat will also help with that....uhh.....topic.

Um anyway, my husband ate these things right up. That says a lot because he's quite the blueberry monger. Because of his monger-ness, we put blueberry in just about everything around here (including fudge - no joke). But he was really happy with these cranberry yogurt muffins. 

As was I! But the best part is that they are so super easy. 

So enough of that. 

Here's the recipe:

3 cups whole wheat flour (or white a.k.a. enriched)
1 teaspoon baking soda
2 teaspoons baking powder
Dash of salt
1/2 tsp Nutmeg
1 cup sugar
1/2 cup oil
1 egg
1 1/3 cup plain, unflavored yogurt 2 cups fresh blueberries

2C Cranberries (fresh or frozen)
1 tsp Vanilla Extract

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Sugar (for sprinkling - optional)

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Preheat oven to 385 degrees.

Sift the first 5 ingredients (flour through nutmeg) together in a bowl and set aside.

In another large bowl whisk sugar, oil, vanilla, egg, and yogurt. Add the dry ingredients and stir about 15 times, or until just barely combined. Lumps are just fine!

Fold in all but 1/2C of the cranberries into the mixture. (Leaving the 1/2C for later).

Add mixture to well-buttered/sprayed muffin pans (butter works buttah in my opinion). Sprinkle remaining berries on top and press down lightly. Sprinkle sugar over top, if that's yo' thing.

Bake 20 to 25 minutes and allow to cool completely.

And then eat your little heart out!

The Mean Green Piper Machine

I should warn you ahead of time that I'm feeling frisky and have the random desire to embarrass myself. I'll be posting an embarrassing story every day this week, and I may even extend it because I have many, many embarrassing moments, but I'm not sure I'm willing to post them all. I have a few readers from my high school years, and maybe 1 or 2 from my elementary days. They don't always leave comments, and I should probably ask God to force them not to on this one. 

K, done.

In case some of you have not figured it out yet, my name is Piper. When I was born, the name, "Piper" was pretty unique and unheard of. Nowadays, thanks to shows like "Charmed" and several others, "Piper" is becoming quite popular. In fact, it's the new "Betty", the new, "Tiffany" or "Courtney". In fact, it was voted the top name of 2010. In fact, I'm lying. 

But even still, I'm hearing it more and more, and I'm a little annoyed to be frank. I like the uniqueness of my name, and I don't appreciate others copying me. Well, except that there is that part of me that thinks it's pretty cool. I mean I never knew another Piper until a few years ago. 

Now, as I'm simply walking through a grocery store, I hear comments like, "Piper, you get over here right now! PIPER get over here before I tell your daddy how you're acting!!!" I jump; I run over; I apologize to my mom. And then I realize it's not my mom, and I'm 28 years old and I need broccoli for dinner, and my husband is waiting in the car for me. I apologize and explain that I'm the only person with my name, and that I didn't know there were other Piper's. I then run out of the store in manic confusion, jump in the car, and look at my husband with tears. He knows this look, and he just smiles, picks up a pizza, and all is right with the world again. Besides, who needs broccoli every night?

But as these little Pipers will soon realize, there is a disadvantage to having such a unique name. I mean you of course take the chance at being made fun of. My husband claims all children get made fun of anyway, so he sees no problem with naming our son, "Bela Lugosi", "Boris Karloff", or "Larrycurlymo". I, on the other hand, feel people would end up calling our son, "Princess Bella", "Boris" (cause that's bad enough on it's own), and that our kid will be a stooge enough on it's own, and doesn't need a name that contains the names of all three stooges. Believe it or not though, I never really got made fun of....except for those two times...and that's what we're here to talk about, well, one of them anyway, that is, if you survived my 7 page long introduction above. 

If so, thanks for sticking around. 

If not:

*Thwwwww*

Anyway, here's what happened the first time. We'll get to the second time a little later.

It was the summer before whichever year I was in 6th grade and I swam every single day. My parents had a big, beautiful swimming pool and all the neighborhood kids came to swim! So did the teenage pedophile down the street, but that's a whole other blog post! Well, he didn't come to swim, but he did try to peek at us through the fence. That stopped when I finally told my mom about it, and she pulled a Jackie Chan and set him straight! Well, she didn't physically do that to him, although she gave him, "the look", which can physically hurt you more than Jackie Chan could ever think to. In fact, I'm convinced my mom trained Jackie Chan, solely through eye contact. Needless to day, that punk teenager never came anywhere near our house again. He was terrified of my momma! But like I said, that's a totally different blog post. 

So the thing about pools is that there is chlorine in them. A lot of chlorine! Guess what chlorine does? It turns hair green. Not just green, but alien neon green, which is probably the color of a crayon somewhere. 

Fast forward a few weeks later..

I looked much like this poor child, except that my hair was even lighter. And greener; I promise.

And that's embarrassing enough when you enter 6th grade. I mean I was shy to begin with, and on top of that, I mostly just didn't want to stick out. People didn't often make fun of my name, so that wasn't a problem. 

So, what does my name have to do with green hair?? Guess what my last name was....

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GREEN!

"Piper Green has green hair!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAH" - that's what I heard for several weeks in 6th grade. Nothing builds a girls confidence as much as green hair, and a name to match. 

And I don't wanna hear an "aww..poor thing!" Because if you're reading this, there's a mighty big chance you were in my class, laughing about the green hair!"

But there's an even bigger chance, I was laughing at it with you. 

And running home to my mommy, sucking my thumb, screaming that we had to do something. 

So I got a hair cut. 

And 500,000,000 shampoos. And anti-green treatments. And salon visits. 

And then mom switched to some sort of anti-chlorine treatment, and I was a normal teenager again. I was free to move on to other, more embarrassing things. And I was successful in fulfilling this prophesy, which we'll cover later.

Let it Snow, Let it Snow, Let it Snow!

February 23, 2010 - The Day it Snowed 3-6 inches in Central Texas and NOT in North Texas!

Now that should go in the history books.

Why?

Lately, my hometown of North Texas has been getting so much snow they are now sick of it, while Central Texans have been getting nothing! Growing up in North Texas, we very rarely had any snow, and yet it seems as though it's been a constant blizzard up there this year.

Not that I'm the jealous type. Not that I really care all that much. Not that...who am I kidding, I've been REALLY stinkin' jealous.

But that's okay, because all that jealous finally melted away as soon as I saw my first drop of snow yesterday morning, on the way to class.

Can you see the snow? It's there, I promise.

But when I got to school, it started collecting on my car a little bit.

At this point, at 7:45am, right before walking in my classroom, I had the following conversation with my husband:

*ring ring ring*

Him: "Yep.." (which is how he answered the phone)

Me: "Did they cancel school yet?"

Him: "Nope. I said I'd call if they did.."

Me: "So that's a no? Are you sure?"

Him: "Yeah, well I mean no they..."

Me: "NO SCHOOL!? Woohoo!"

Him: "Uh..no as in, no, school isn't canceled.."

Me: "But you said, 'no school'.."

Him: "Are we done here, I need to eat breakfast."

Me: "Are you sure?? I mean it's snowing for heaven's sakes! It's practically a blizzard!"

Him: "Yeah, no."

Me: "Woohoo!"

Him: *sigh* "I mean, 'no' as in...*sigh*..Boy, am I hungry."

Me: "SNOW DAY!!"

Him: *silence*

Me: "Alright; see you after class! UNLESS IT'S SNOWING!"

Him: *click* 

But to my utter relief, as I stepped out of class, I noticed the snow collecting a little..

And then, about 15 minutes later when I got to work...

there was...

even...

more......

...SNOW! 

Now, why it didn't do this before class was beyond me, but in the end, snow is snow, and Central Texans are just glad to have it!

Schools shut down early, and we were able to head home around lunch time! 

I stopped by the grocery store to get some fire logs (and somehow $100 worth of groceries!). The husband promised me he'd wait until I got home to play in the snow. He whined about it a little, but hesitantly obliged.

He never breaks his promises..

But there's a first for everything. About 15 minutes after his promise to wait for me, I came home to an almost 7 foot tall snowman...with a jersey on! 

Go Bobcats!!

Who are the Bobcats? I don't even know which sport they play for? Sometimes it's best not to ask questions. And I didn't. I moved on to my own snowman!!

And then I stole my husbands glasses and placed them on her eyeballs. Actually, I stole the head from my husband's snow man, and placed it on my snow girl body. Then I plopped a carrot on as a nose so he wouldn't noticed I stole his head. 

We are married, and what's his is mine, what's mine is his, what's his is mine. All mine. Of course sometimes this means stretching the truth a little..

You see, when I stole the head off his snow man, he was inside. When he came back out, he had a headless snow man, so there was some 'splainin' that needed to take place.

"I think those 2 little boys down the street kicked your head off. Yeah, I don't know why it's not on the ground. Maybe they took it with them!"

"You think they did it? Man, if I see those punk kids again, I'll grab them by the collar!"

"Will you really??"

"Heck yeah I will!! Those punk kids!"

"No you won't."

"I know, but I'd like to."

"I know you would, honey..I know you would."

And then when he walked back inside, I put his head back on.

"Hey, look. My snowman has a head again." 

"Yeah, the kids came back and apologized for taking your snow man's head. I forgave them and they put it back on for you."

"Well that was nice. It's nice to see kids these days have some morale about them."

"Yeah..................morale."

After 2 hours of snowball fights, snow men, and snow women, we refueled with lunch and headed right back out! 

We walked around to look at other people's snowmen, and then down the block through some thick snow..

 "thick" as in, snow that was about 3 inches deep! 

But then, we looked up and found a flagpole!! This was great news because just a few weeks ago, we had said that we wished we could get some snow and take a particular picture for our Christmas cards this year.

Flagpole + my husband + gullible wife = this..

Merry Christmas!!

;)

Cake Balls!

First of all..

Big time. I was pretty tired of my apron lady, and her blurriness. She'll be back, but she needed a vacation. For now, things will be pink. If pink makes you feel effeminate, don't worry, I'm sure I'll change it up again in the next few days. Or hours. Or minutes. Who knows..

On another note:

I'm really loving this whole cake ball thing. It's so easy, incredibly good, and totally versatile. You can make as much or as little at a time, and save the rest for later. It's appropriate for all occasions (birthdays, Christmas, Easter, Tuesday evenings before a final exam, etc), and all ages can enjoy it. 

Oh, and my husband is very protective of them. Perhaps, more than blueberries, which some of you know says a lot! 

So here's a sample of the silliness you can come up with for these things. I'll post more and a how-to in the next couple weeks, but they are so much fun! And easy - E-A-S-Y!

Making cake balls is simple! I've made them 2 ways.

1. Grab a box of cake mix and make according to the packages directions. Once cooked, crumble the entire cake into a large bowl. You'll need to use your hands to break the mixture apart. Once crumbled, add a can of frosting and mix together. Shape the "dough" into balls and place them on a cookie sheet, and then in the freezer for about 5 minutes. After 5 min, melt some baking chocolate (or bark as it's often called) according to package directions. Dip balls in chocolate, and then place on some wax paper to dry for about 10 minutes. 

Or...do what I prefer, since it involves no baking whatsoever.

2. Grab a bag or oreo cookies, crumble them into crumbs in either a food processor or pound in a large Ziploc bag with a mallet.

 Pour crumbs into a bowl ...

...and mix w/ 8 ounces of softened cream cheese.

Form these into balls, freeze, and then coat with chocolate, just like above. When coating with chocolate, I like to use a fork to pull them out of the chocolate. Then, use a toothpick to slide them off the fork and onto wax paper. If there's too much chocolate at the bottom of the ball, no worries. You can just break it off once it's dried.

And then you can do the fun part - decorating! Actually the fun part is eating, but decorating is fun too!

I did something a little different, as suggested by Bakerella...

For about $3. at Michael's, I bought some little plastic candy holder container things. You can make candy with them, but I just  filled them with white chocolate (tinted green w/ food coloring), and then pressed a cake ball down on top.

Which was much more sloppy than hers seemed to be.

But that's okay..

Because we're not done decorating, and who cares anyway.

(that's white chocolate I on top, and it's accidental..)   ;)
So then I popped these things out after about 5 minutes (or sooner, they dry fast). I then flipped them over, and dipped the top part (the cake ball part), into more melted chocolate. I used white chocolate.

And then decorated with some sparkly decorators gel.

But this gave me another idea. I could use black icing instead of green, and do Twilight Zone cupcake bites....FUN! I'll do these around the 4th of July, since that's when we watch the Twilight Zone marathon!

Cake balls. White chocolate. Green chocolate. M&M's. Did I mention, CHOCOLATE.

There's the inside scoop. I tried to veer outside of the norm by using some kind of organic Teddy Graham off brand, but they weren't as good. Well, just as good, but not as sweet. Plus, the oreos have that cream center that does a body good on these things. 

This is all I made this time. Literally 5. 5 cake balls cupcake things. Well, I mean, I also ate 2, and my husband ate one. But still, not very many.  

Except for the 16 we ate before I took this picture.

And I'm telling you, the hardest part is not eating them. I wish I could just make these all day and not be tempted to eat them. 

With that said, I'll be eating the one on the bottom at around 6:30 this evening.

Things to come:
* Blueberry Cheesecake Bites
* Key Lime Pie Bites
* Strawberry Lady Bugs (you're just going to have to trust me on this one)

Superficial City

 The Bachelor: On the Wings of Love

CORNY. Look at that picture? Look at that title! Do you know why it's called, "On the Wings of Love?" Besides being super romantic, (now I'm craving a corn dog, with a side of corn bread), Mr. Jake here is a pilot. 

I'm sorry, but this needs to come out somewhere, so why not on my blog, right? We will title this post "superficial city" because well, you're going to get a massive glimpse of my superficial side. After you're done reading this post, I kindly ask that you erase everything you just read, or at least try to tie it to someone other than myself. 

K? Thanks.

Welcome.....to Superficial City! 

If you'll notice, Superficial City mostly houses bachelorettes. We believe this to be the perfect place for the ladies rejected by Jake. 

Or even guys like this, who act like Jake rejected them too.

I know, I know, he's irrelevant since he was from a totally different show. But let's face it. Without Jason, we wouldn't have had Jillian. 

 (Rejected by Jake). Without Jillian, we wouldn't have...

Hi Jake. 

And I was happy to see Jake as the new Bachelor this season. He seemed pretty honest, polite, and well, just plain...southern. He's from Texas, too, so I can't complain. 

The season is flying by and these are the final 2 contestants left: 

Tinley:

She seems smart, sweet, and classy. She was previously married and rumor has it he cheated on her. Whatever the case, it was apparently pretty nasty and left her heartbroken. She seems to have a pretty normal family that's very supportive of her. She just seems...normal. 

And then there's Vienna:

Vienna has a cool name, I'll give her that! I like it. Her reputation on the show has been dramatic to say the least! She seems to really like Jake, although sometimes she comes off as stagey to me. She seems to think that just because he's showing interest, it's meant to be. She's very pushy, and I'm not convinced she's being herself around him. She's pretty, smart, and won't get walked all over, but I don't see her totally opening up much.

So who do I hope wins? If it's not obvious...

TINLEY. T-I-N-L-E-Y. Did I spell her name right? She's the sweetest thing since frosted cupcakes, and she's the only person in this entire season that actually seems pretty legit. Will someone please tell me why Vienna is still on the show? Are you kidding me? I know there is editing and such, but I've never seen any kind of connection between the two of them.

Well guess what? I like rainy days. I like sleeping in. I like french toast and my mother in law, but this doesn't mean I'm going to marry them. What is this, 3rd grade? "I like your scarf!" "Then why don't ya marry it?! HAHA." This show seems to center around a 3rd grade philosophy. 

And then there's the whole hype about Ali calling him to ask if she can come back, as shown earlier this week. One blogger noted something interesting: When the camera cut in to the clip where Ali called, Jake was in the bathroom getting ready in the morning. yeah, "duh Piper", you say. We'll as he was getting ready, he didn't have a watch on. Fine, no biggie. But, as he was standing in the bathroom with no watch on, the phone rang. While it was ringing, he went into the bedroom to pick it up. When the camera switched to the other room (supposedly just him walking around the corner to pick up the phone), he suddenly had a watch on. Obviously the clip was cut into at least 2, which probably means it didn't just happen out of nowhere. Jake knew Ali was calling. 

Some say it was staged for drama. NO?? SERIOUSLY? Of course it was. I think it's silly they even need to stage drama. Girls can be pretty dramatic by themselves, add 25 other roommates and one man to the scenario, and you've got yourself some drama, mama!

This Monday will be the "Women Tell All" segment of the broadcast where they try to edit the heck out of it to make certain situations look a certain way. Like when Tenley told Jake she was preggo and then said, "Just kidding!!" Who does that? On TV? And on one of your first dates? 

I just wonder who Jake picked. If he picked Tinley, he should be a pretty happy man (or so I hope). If he picked Vienna, I'm willing to bet she's in the dog house for the things she's said on camera. 

The Result + Recipe Reviews - V-Day

What a great weekend!! We mostly celebrated on Saturday. On Friday night, I made those french breakfast puff things, with blueberries of course. When we woke up on Saturday, I coated them with cinnamon and sugar and fixed them on the table with a printed menu to tell the husband what was to be expected that day. 

Not my pictures, but still enough to make you drool!

French Breakfast Puffs (w/ blueberries)

Review: The easiest muffin recipe I've ever tried. Very basic ingredients, fluffy, and probably the best muffins (or uh, "french puffs", I've ever had..maybe?). Hard to say. They truly tasted just like blueberry cake donuts to me, and that says a lot, considering I used all whole wheat flour. My husband was hording these like nothing else. In fact, I made some extra to give to his mom, and she almost didn't get them. He's never been so protective of something food related. Good stuff!

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We also made this stuff. Pretty easy, and not the type of recipe I usually follow. If I make pasta, it usually has a homemade spaghetti sauce, or a decent jar of sauce if I'm lazy. So chicken broth and whipping cream were new to me when it came to pasta. 

Cajun Chicken Pasta  

Review: Once again, simple ingredients. Simple recipe, yet a little time consuming to have to cook the chicken in 2-3 batches. I guess you could do them all at the same time, but they might stick together, so you'd have to constantly break them apart. The taste? Amazing! We didn't use wine for the sauce, but it was still so good! 

Garlic bread would have been great with this, but we were rushing and didn't have time!

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While I was throwing the pasta and other stuff together, the husband was slicing the mushrooms for the mushroom soup. He did great in the kitchen. In fact, he's welcome to help me anytime. What this means is that he will soon regret being so perfect in the kitchen. He came in handy. His video games might start collecting dust as we know it. 

Creamy Mushroom Soup

Review: Overall this soup was super easy, very creamy and had an interesting flavor. By "interesting" I guess I mean great, but to enjoy this soup, you really need to wipe out all previous experiences and expectations of what mushroom soup should taste like. Again, we didn't use wine, but the taste was great, just not so much mushroom-ey. It tasted more like a creamy, tasty ...soup that happened to have mushrooms in it. Still good, and I'd make it again with slight tweakings!

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Now these things.....these fried hot things, filled with love and all that is good in this world. These things. These things are.....they are.....amazingly, melt-in-your-mouth wonderful. I could pop these poppers in my mouth all day. My midsection and thighs wouldn't love me for it, but the growth of a double of triple chin might be a plus...? Or not. 

Regardless...

TRY. 

THESE.

Jalapeno Poppers 

Review: Mine didn't look like this picture; mine were somehow more sporadically coated. I'm going to guess the reason for this could be one of 2 things. 1. I made my own bread crumbs, and I used whole grain (Ezekiel 4:9 bread ground in the good processor), or 2. I used rice milk, instead of whole milk. I don't do well with following directions in cooking, and rice milk is much thinner, so it probably didn't coat as well. But you know what? These things rocked my socks off! Not that I had socks on, but maybe that's because they were rocked off. Very good. Time consuming to slice in half, fill, coat a zillion times, and fry, but these bad boys have my heart. They also had my husband's heart. 

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You know what else I made? Something pretty stinkin' adorable, that's what. I didn't post this on my blog last week, because I wanted to surprise my other half, which I did in fact do. I copied Bakerella (love that woman to pieces), and I'm so, so glad I did! These things will catch on big time for other holidays. 

Just think of the possibilities...Mother's Day, Anniversary, Christmas, President's Day!!!

Stop what you're doing right now, and make these! Make these tonight. Make them tomorrow morning. Make them (and eat them like I did) at 5 a.m. For Pete's sake, just make them!!

Homemade Oreo Kisses

 Review: This was the best dessert I've had in a long time. They don't look like much I know, I know. Stop whispering, I CAN HEAR YOU! You're saying, "Why in the world would I make these; they are half off at Target, crazy apron lady! Not to mention, these look at little strange in the middle!" Are you done talking to yourself yet? Good, now wipe the drool off your bottom lip (we both know it's there). Now listen. Do you know what's in the middle? OREO COOKIES. Well, except that I'm a nut and I used some off brand organic Oreos knock off, but you get the point. And not just Oreos, either. Oreos mixed w/ softened cream cheese.

Yeah, you heard me. It doesn't get easier than this. Throw Oreos in a bag, let your kids take out their frustration on the bag (slamming those puppies up into oblivion), and then mix the crumbs w/ softened cream cheese. Shape the "dough" into balls, and then point them up into kisses. Let them freeze for a few minutes, and then dip in melted chocolate (I used bark, but whatever). Why am I giving you the recipe?? Just click on the title. 

Anyway, my husband horded these things more than the french puffs above. In fact, we almost got into a fight over them...

Me: *Mmmm, I think I'll have a few of these kisses."

Him: "How many have you had? I've only had a couple so far."

Me: "I've only had 3..........do you like them that much?"

Him: *protective tone* "I'm just saying..I've only had a couple."

Me: "I'm just saying. I've only had 3. Just sayin'."

Him: "That's fine. Have all you want..just keep in mind...I've only.."

AND THEN IT HAPPENED. 

I dropped them. 

I had 3 on my plate, and I dropped them right between the 2 of us.

Me: "Umm...."

Him: "No! What just happened?"

Me: "Sorry.. it's just, I mean, they...slipped."

Him: "Well, now you've had 6."

Me: "Huh? No, I've had 3. Then I dropped 3. I've only eaten 3, which means I can get more!"

Him: "No. You've had 6."

Me: "No, I .."

Him: "You've had 6."

Me: "I...."

Him: "6."

Me: "Hey wait a minute! I shaped and coated each and every one of these things. I coated them! I stood here and individually ...with love...made every. single. one."

Him: "All for me?"

Me: "Yep! All for ....you."

Him: "Best wife ever."

Me: "...........What just happened?"

Him: "It's called, 'winning an argument' " *munches on kisses*

Me: "Huh. Interesting."

Now go make these for your loved ones (and hide some for yourself - Just sayin').