Friday, October 8

The Vampire Bat

 I'm not batty...I really did want to say, hi. Ok, fine, here's the truth: I saw something yesterday that's haunting my dreams. I saw a bat. A real, live, BAT. Not just any bat. A vampire bat!! A real, live, vampire October!

I drove to see my parents last night for my mom's birthday -- happy birthday mama!!! -- and on the way, I was casually talking to my dad, when he casually mentioned that he casually found a FREAKING BAT IN THERE FRONT YARD.

My parents live in a nice neighborhood, surrounded by other homes and normalcy. "What the heck was a bat doing in your front yard?" I asked, to which he replied, "It doesn't make much sense." I was horrified and intrieged at the same time.."Keep it for now! I wanna see it when I get there!" to which he replied, "Yeah I know, I wanna spook your brother out with it later." -- to which he did spook my 16 year old brother who thinks he's a guido but is afraid of anything with an exoskeleton and legs (think crickets..) 

Why I didn't take a picture is beyond someone who has a blog, finding a real live dead vampire bat is like gold. It's a rare commodity ...almost like gaga wearing an evening gown to the MTV Movie Awards.

But you know what I realized...? I have a weird fascination with bats....and owls, but I'll focus on bats for now. I think they are the coolest halloween decoration there is...other than owls of course, and spiders may be a close second. 

But I'm a little batty myself. Not ditsy. I didn't say ditsy....just............ batty. I have bat pajamas and shirts, and I've even made bats to hang all over our house during the month of October every year. But here's what I realized....the very sight of a real vampire bat was enough to keep me up at night. 


So instead of being a normal person and just trying to get the dang thing out of my mind, I googled bats. And how FREAKING cool is this??? 

Where has this been all my life? Get it? Not "peppermint patty", but "peppermint BATTY." I don't even care for this candy much, but I'd buy this just because it's flippin' sweet.

But it gets worse....then google pulled up this image...

If there were salt and pepper shakers, I'd buy them. Is this a t-shirt? I want it. 

And then this happened:.....

I don't even have kids. I don't even really want kids quite yet. But I almost fainted. I WANT, NOW. Just in case I forget it exists in 14 years when I finally feel comfortable having a kid, you know, when I'm 42 and probably infertile. I NEED this. 

I think I'm just batty in general. 

Like when I made a spider out of a pumpkin. Did I tell you that? My poor husband woke up last Saturday morning to a strong smell of paint, all the windows open, newspaper everywhere, sticks on the window seal, and a black pumpkin. 

Why? Because I literally woke up Saturday morning to a weird idea that was super easy and too cute. I'll post a how-to this week!


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