Dinner: FAIL

FAIL in every sense of the word.

So I'm busy. I'm a busy...BUSY girl. I'm a busy girl with a lot on my plate. A - L.O.T.. 

Okay, well I'm not that busy, but I am lazy sometimes. I'm lazy and I don't like to eat out much, so I cook. I'm lazy but I don't like following recipes. So I'm a lazy person that doesn't like eating out, but also doesn't like following recipes. 

What's up with that??

Right. So, the way I see it, this leaves me with one option for dinner - to randomly throw things together and pray to God it turns out good! And when it doesn't, I go off and cry in the corner by myself for awhile, look in the mirror and realize I look like I just got beat up by Mike Tyson, and then eat a pint of Hagen Daaz. But let's face it - I didn't have any ice cream. 

But the more I cook, the more things work out just fine. 

But things didn't work out just fine the other day. In fact, nothing I made for dinner worked out just fine. 

On the menu:

Salmon croquettes with dill

Maple green beans with almonds

Cheddar and garlic biscuits

And get this, I even planned on making a post about it. I have the recipe for the croquettes, and was going to post for the green beans and biscuits. 

This is what they should look like: 

...and this is fine. This is normal. The problem I had the other night, was that I realized all too late that I was totally out of eggs. 

"That's no problem," I thought, "I can just use...hmmm, maybe melted butter? Really all you need is some kind of fat to hold them together and solidify a little. Maybe some cream cheese too. Salmon and cream cheese go great together!" 

The croquettes formed, but they did not at all stay together. They began cooking unevenly and falling apart almost immediately. 

Yum....

 

Like I said..things didn't turn out as planned. 

 

I'm obviously not exaggerating..

So I had to come up with something else. I didn't want to run out and get fast food, and I was bound and determined to do something with this ...mess...so I grabbed some tortillas (don't leave).

And decided to toast them. 

Meanwhile, if you'll remember, I had some biscuits going. These weren't just any biscuits though. These were gluten free biscuit mix, biscuits. I've never had gluten free biscuits and the box said they wouldn't rise very much. 

In fact, they seemed to state this several times on the box. I found their reiterations to be discouraging, but decided to try them anyway. 

Boy were they serious.

Note that on top are the corn tortillas I decided to bake. Below them are the biscuits. Yeah, the "biscuits". 

You don't see them?? Oh, well see the pancakes? Yeah, those are cheese biscuits. See how they aren't rising? In fact, they didn't just "not rise much", they actually flattened as they cooked.

But let me tell you something about these cheesy pancake biscuit things....

They were flat. They had no spunk about them whatsoever. And they were GOOD. I'll never in my life make them again, but I enjoyed every single bite. 

Perhaps I was starving. Perhaps I'm crazy. Perhaps I run a blog titled, "the crazy apron" and I am the apron it speaks of. Perhaps this is a little TMI.

But they were good. I'm moving on now..

Okay, now I mean it. I'll stop posting pictures of gross things. Okay, maybe not; this is a "FAIL" blog, and as it seems, I'm not disappointing. 

Let's continue..

So the corn tortillas toasted well. Normally frying them up would be a better option, but I was sick and tired of using my pan. Besides, I had the "croquettes" in them that were suddenly crumbling. 

So I helped them along their way. These crispy little things weren't so bad..

 

Eww, you say. Right, I know. It looks like dog food that's been eaten and spit back out 3 times. 

That's what I thought at least. I promise it tasted good. It tasted like....fried goodness. 

Like I said, I was starving at this point. 

The corn tortillas baked into nice shells. At least something worked out okay.

So I put some of this crispy salmon mixture (I don't even know what to call it), on top of the baked tortilla shell and topped it with cheese. 

Cheese makes everything taste better, and it's good for you. 

Cheese is good for your....uh, gut, fat cells,  umm..bones! CALCIUM! Cheese has calcium, and we don't want to miss out on that!

And lettuce. Salmon, cheese, lettuce..Oh, and also some Wasabi mustard.

 

And actually....

 

If I wanted to tell the truth...

 

It really wasn't that bad. Not that I want to tell the truth, because I don't. Who in their right mind wants to admit something this weird was good?

My husband ate 4.

(and I forgot to even start the green beans. That probably worked out for the best.)

Just sayin'.